Haunted Mansion (2023): Secondhand Embarrassment

Melvin’s sister Shirleon joins him on a journey through Disney’s latest attempt at making a Haunted Mansion movie. While summarizing Haunted Mansion (2023), the two commentate on what makes this Summer Not-buster awkwardly divisive.

Topics:

• (PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 30-minutes discussing neat trivia about various Haunted Mansion rides across the globe, their inception, and Shirleon Sharron’s mini-review of the 2003 Eddie Murphy The Haunted Mansion film (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
• Haunted Mansion carries an intense artificiality to it, showcasing nonstop digital effects, weird coloring, cartoonish ghouls, and so much else. It removes a tactile nature from every setting and replaces it with a glossy, plastic sheen.
• There isn’t much threat or motivation for the villain’s in the movie. Sure, there are reasons characters are doing things insofar as having a ghost around might be a nuisance, but when everything is played like a joke, virtually everything becomes narratively worthless.
• After about 20 minutes the non-stop usage of the Haunted Mansion’s excellent melody converted an otherwise brilliant tune into a complete irritant. Melvin couldn’t stand it and yet he still had an hour and a half to go.
• For Shirleon, this rendition of The Haunted Mansion on film actually captured the atmosphere of the rides. Melvin prefers the 2003 one.
• Harriette as a character really grew on Shirleon, and in general she really enjoyed all of the characters in their own way.
• By the end of the movie neither Shirleon nor Melvin had taken any notes; there simply wasn’t much to write about with regards to the empty plotline.

Recommendations:

• Wheel of Time (2021 – Ongoing ) (Series)
• Totally Killer (2023) (Movie)
• Adopt a Rescue Black Cat

Haunted Mansion is Rated PG-13 for some thematic elements and scary action. It features LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito, Jamie Lee Curtis, Chase Dillon, and Jared Leto. Directed by Justin Simien. Haunted Mansion is available here.

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Melvin Benson is the Founder, Editor-In-Chief, and Lead Host of Cinematic Doctrine. Whether it’s a movie, show, game, comic, or novel, it doesn’t matter. As long as it’s rich, he’s ready and willing to give it a try! His hope is to see King Jesus glorified as far as the east is from the west!

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