It goes without saying, but we’re going to say it anyway: these are unprecedented times. But, also, for the majority of people, these are boring times, too. After the initial shock and awe that was March 2020 settled down, out came the extensive Netflix queue and the Amazon Prime rentals that demanded our attention. Finally, we all had the time to watch those movies and shows we told our friends we were going to watch but avoided for weeks on end to watch other stuff instead.
So here’s the big question… did you watch them?
I’d be remiss to say I hadn’t thought about plowing through my Netflix queue. After years of perusing Netflix’s extensive catalog, reading countless summaries, and pressing that “Add to My List” button over and over and over again, it seemed like now was the time to finally give in. Pop endless loads of popcorn, don the comfiest pair of pajamas, pop open a soothing bottle of red, and get started on fulfilling the promise of, “I’ll get around to it.”
Three months later, I can say that, at the very least, I did watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. But, for the most part… I’m pretty sure my queue has stayed the same.
Of course, I did watch plenty of other projects. 64, to be exact. And in Cinematic Doctrine’s bonus episode titled Quarantine Binge (heard above or in your favorite podcast app) I’ve prepared a one-sentence review for every film, miniseries, and show that I’ve watched during this unprecedented (read: boring) time.
Here are some examples:
I Am Legend: This movie has a pop culture footprint I still don’t understand, and Will Smith in general has a pop culture footprint I still don’t understand.
After Earth: Everything about this movie is wrong.
Amy: So unbelievably powerful you have no idea how dehydrated I was after this movie.
Moon: Unfortunately, the hyperbole used in Moon against capitalism is all too real.
The Incredible Hulk: A shameful disaster.
Jerry Seinfeld: 23 Hours to Kill: Jery get ipad.
But I’m not the only one who sat around watching things. If you’ve been keeping up with the Cinematic Doctrine podcast, you’ll notice that we were on a brief hiatus. After that hiatus, we returned one-host short for a few episodes, as Daniel was busy performing essential work.
While making sure his patients were safe and secure, Daniel was not only heading into work every night, but he also had a short period in which he was quarantined to ensure the safety of his coworkers and family (Yes. For real quarantine).
During that time, Daniel had some fascinating selections from diving headfirst into the WWE archives, watching everyone’s favorite 2019 musical Cats, and figuring out whether the Christian-outrage machine had gotten it right or wrong with Disney’s latest animated show The Owl House.
Funnily enough, despite having watched far more movies than Daniel, I’m not the one who takes up the bulk of this bonus episode. Just because I watched over 50 movies in three months doesn’t mean they’re all winners. Honestly, it just says, “I like movies!”.
No, it’s Daniel who not only has the most to say here, but probably shares the most interesting thing about these last few months: Why we watched what we watched.
For Daniel, during such a difficult and stressful time, he wanted to relax, unwind, and stop thinking about everything that was going on. And along with that came big burly men knocking the daylights out of each other, eldritch fur-critters dancing and prancing around, and investigating the validity of an all too common internet experience (you know, Christians losing their minds).
“I’ve been waiting three months to talk about all these things!” he exclaims toward the end of the show, and boy oh boy are we glad for it! So, head on up there and get listening, because Daniel has a lot to share!
Consider supporting Cinematic Doctrine on Patreon! As a bonus, you’ll gain access to a once-a-month movie poll where you decide a movie we discuss on the podcast!
Melvin Benson is the Founder, Editor-In-Chief, and Lead Host of Cinematic Doctrine. He’s written fiction and nonfiction for over a decade with short stories featured on the Creepypasta Wiki and Wattpad. His novelette Ethereal Temptation, a teen drama with a tinge of magical-realism, can be read for free here. His hope is to see King Jesus glorified as far as the east is from the west!