Eternals: Certified Rotten

Disney Marvel Eternals reviewed on Christian Movie Podcast Cinematic Doctrine
Eternals – Certified Rotten

No time wasted. An earthquake in the MCU has taken place: a rotten score! It’s sort of all anyone is talking about, and Melvin & Dan take their turns sharing complaints, frustrations and irritations (a la that 2+ hour runtime). Even so, tune in and hear their thoughts through this wildly strange addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.


  • Trying to explain what Eternals is about.
  • Immediate plot issues, such as there only being 10 Eternals versus a planet wide infestation of Deviants who clearly seem extremely powerful, requiring upwards of 3-4 Eternals to kill a single Deviant at a time. Therefore, if multiple cities were attacked by Deviants at once, there is likely no chance the humans would survive or populate at a natural rate.
  • POP QUIZ: Can Daniel name all of the Eternals?
  • Even as the movie came to a close, and set the stage for much anticipation to come, Melvin was still scratching his head trying to figure out what the point of Eternals was in the first place.
  • Marvel movies are character movies, and when Marvel movies want to talk about broad topics, concepts, ideas, or philosophies, it always works best when strong characters are ultimately at the forefront. Eternals swaps the focus from characters to philosophy, which seriously brings down the excitement of the film.
  • If Eternals are not allowed to interfere much in human affairs, but Druig’s power doesn’t seem to work on Deviants… then what purpose does Druig satisfy by being a part of the team?
  • For a film that wants to have a humanistic subtext, Eternals has a very juvenile perspective of humanity.
  • Diving into spoilers regarding the deep lore of Eternals
  • Eternals tries to cover so many bases but never lets on that it has a comprehension of what makes those things so interesting.
  • There are countless similarities between Dune and Eternals when it comes to themes and tone, as well as the inspiration Chloe Zhao received from Dennis Villeneuve’s work. While imitation can be flattering, it can also be pandering.
  • Most of the comedy doesn’t land except for Kingo and his valet. Also, people quoted the line about the table in Daniel’s theater which was extremely cringy.
  • How does insurance work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
  • But… is Eternals the worst movie in the MCU?
  • Visually speaking, Eternals is kind of ugly and washed out, which is a serious disappointment considering the marketing.
  • Despite the Celestials, Kang the Conqueror still seems like the most dangerous and powerful villain in the MCU.


Gemma Chan and Richard Madden as Sersi and Ikaris in Disney Marvel Eternals

Eternals is Rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, some language and brief sexuality. It features Gemma Chan, Richard Madden, Angelina Jolie, Salma Hayek, Kit Harington, Kumail Nanjiani, Lia McHugh, Brian Tyree Henry, Lauren Ridloff, Barry Keoghan, Ma Dong-seok, Harry Styles, and Bill Skarsgård. Directed by Chloé Zhao. Eternals is currently in theaters.

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Melvin Benson Cinematic Doctrine Christian Movie Podcast Host

Melvin Benson is the Founder, Editor-In-Chief, and Lead Host of Cinematic Doctrine. He’s written fiction and nonfiction for over a decade with short stories featured on the Creepypasta Wiki and Wattpad. His novelette Ethereal Temptation, a teen drama with a tinge of magical-realism, can be read for free here. His hope is to see King Jesus glorified as far as the east is from the west!

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