Where the Scary Things Are: Delightfully Terrible in All the Right Ways

Where the Scary Things Are Movie Review on Christian Movie Podcast Cinematic Doctrine Popcorn Theology
Where the Scary Things Are – Delightfully Terrible in All the Right Ways

This movie was selected by our Patreon Supporters over at the Cinematic Doctrine Patreon. Support as little as $3 a month and have your voice heard!  

Melvin and Melanie explain, beat for beat, the entirety of Where the Scary Things Are, one of 2022’s most baffling and hilariously unwatchable features that nobody knows about. Amidst frustrated and confused laughter, the two bring you from opening to closing credits, and hilarity ensues!


  • (PATREON EXCLUSIVE) 18-minutes discussing Christmas seasonal stress (gift giving and decorations) and the balancing Christian traditions with Western traditions (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)
  • The blurb for Where the Scary Things Are is about a group of students who find a monster and turn it into an influencer. Sort of.
  • The choice to shoot Where the Scary Things Are at Field of Screams, a real horror themed park, greatly benefits the general aesthetic of the film.
  • A teacher gives the students their project to create a local myth, and while the film showcases him as a moral third-party, the things he does as a teacher are remarkably not great.
  • Ayla is a combination of an extremely unhinged bully who also cares a lot about her grades, which is an inherently funny combination. 
  • There comes a point early on the audience will go, “Why are these kids even friends?” because it’s clear nobody likes each other.
  • The creature design for Where the Scary Things Are is a major plus to the film, despite the creature doing nothing throughout the movie.
  • Melanie’s biggest frustration is how unclear Where the Scary Things Are is when it comes to its tone and theme.
  • Speaking of, there’s one scene that theoretically comes together in showcasing the theme of Where the Scary Things Are, but it’s a scene where the performances are so poorly executed that it completely disrupts the film.
  • It takes an hour before the first kill happens and it’s limited to the small viewfinder of a handheld camera, so the spectacle of violence is mostly stale.
  • Melvin proposes what makes a “so bad its good” movie good, and how Where the Scary Things Are fits perfectly into that category.


Where the Scary Things Are group of kids

Where the Scary Things Are is Rated R for violence, language and a sexual reference. It features Selina Flanscha, Peter Cote, Quinn Andrew Fickes, Oliver Givens, Asher Ruppert, Riley Sullivan, and Paul Cottman. Directed by B. Harrison Smith. Where the Scary Things Are is available here.

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Melvin Benson Cinematic Doctrine Christian Movie Podcast Host

Melvin Benson is the Founder, Editor-In-Chief, and Lead Host of Cinematic Doctrine. He’s written fiction and nonfiction for over a decade with short stories featured on the Creepypasta Wiki and Wattpad. His novelette Ethereal Temptation, a teen drama with a tinge of magical-realism, can be read for free here. His hope is to see King Jesus glorified as far as the east is from the west!

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